dedicated to chocolate martini

olympia this time of year can be gloomy. the air is becoming more harsh and wintery. it's darker outside. people tend to stay in and get depressed. holidays are approaching soon which brings on its own onslaught of stress with strained family relationships and loneliness.

i feel like olympia winter depression is like an illness we need to fend off like the colds and 24 hour flus that i somehow manage to catch at least twice every year no matter how warmly i dress to go out or how quickly i drink emergen-c at the first sign of illness. i can already feel owd symptoms approaching as the air gets colder and the days get darker.

...

it's started with phone calls and small conversations.


everyone feels lonely. everyone feels not good enough. everyone feels ugly.

now let's get things straight.

i am a feminist.

i am a  bleeding heart liberal evergreen student in a gender studies class.

i think the real answer to this problem is that we need to expand our pitifully rigid definitions of beauty and examine the oppressive system in place which makes us always feel like we are falling short and are not enough. we need to make peace and reconcile ourselves with our bodies and see them as blessings as wonderful, as worthy of value.

we need to cut through the bullshit and give everyone the middle finger.

we need to see that clothing is fake, all scenes are fake, marketing is fake and all of this is bullshit...


...but sometimes...

it just isn't enough.

...

sometimes even though you will try to rationalize yourself out of a negative emotion, it will still persist in spite of any logic.
desperate times call for desperate measures.

http://www.mediafire.com/?9hoq0xz05j0
(go ahead, click on the Christina Aguilera song, it's okay)

here is what i do, when nothing else seems to work.

when i get depressed about my physical appearance, i look at pictures of 18th and 19th century german philosophers...

for example,

here is a picture of kant



look at kant's forehead. no wait, here is another picture of kant



or how about hegel? if you are a student at evergreen you must have read some hegel.





look at him. at least we don't look like hegel right?


okay, i can tell some of you are probably wondering if maybe this is wrong. it does kind of go against that whole "expanding the definition of beauty to include everyone" idea. but here's one more,


Schopenhauer



um, hello? can you say fashion DON'T?

(olympia washington!)

-misses kisses