Saturday, December 15, 2007

Olympiawashington: Any Gayer?

Could Olympia Washington be any gayer? No, no it could not. And that is in the best way possible.

Capitol Way is getting into the Christmas Spirit. The GAY Christmas Spirit. And I could not be happier. Purple lights are on the trees, brightening up downtown with the best color ever. Also, purple is the gay pride color, if you did not know. Also, you probably didn't know that purple is also MY favorite color.

So it is basically a win-win for everyone.

Although, I think Olympia Washington is copying me. I don't have a tree this year, but when I do, it is almost always decorated to death with purple ornaments.


Thursday, November 29, 2007


Olympia Washington isn't very exciting right now.

I am contributing to this problem.

Maybe every Olympian should work on being more exciting, and then we would have more exciting lives.

Just a thought.


PS: I am bored and want to be done with school. But I shouldn't be bored, because I have schoolwork to do. Hmm. I'm going to go eat a can of soup.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

How I would dress if I were "Olympia Washington" for Halloween

Wow I wish I had my camera because I really want to post a picture of the giant paper 10 ft mache Geoduck dressed up as Harry Potter in the bookstore window on campus. That is how I would dress up like Olympia Washington. Does anyone have a picture of it?


Monday, October 29, 2007

If I were OLYMPIA WASHINGTON!!! for Halloween...

This is what I would wear. Except for the jar, I would hold that with my coffee in it. And the Geoduck, I just threw that in for good measure.

Happy Halloween!

OLYMPIA WASHINGTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fucking north face jacket
hair bag
fucking mason jar

Sunday, October 28, 2007

I still like the question...

If you were "olympia washington" for halloween, what would your costume look like?

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Olympia Washington Karaoke Politics


Don't go to Jake's for karaoke, unless you are extremely hot in a gay way, are totally rich, or are "in the loop."

Cause it's lame.

The past three times that I have gone to Jake's and put in my request for karaoke, they have NEVER FUCKING PLAYED MY SONG. Do you know how frustrating it is to get all stoked up, get ready to sing my special song, and wait all night for nothing?! Yes, it is frustrating.

Now, it may not be SO frustrating, but it is because the same people will go two or three times before they will even CONSIDER playing my song.

There are a few speculations that have been made.

1. Tipping. The karaoke DJ wants you to tip, and she wants you to tip well. People slip her twenty dollar bills, blah blah blah. I have never, ever gone to a karaoke bar where this was standard practice. I think it sucks. Sure, bump their song up for a good tip, but letting the same person go several times? No. Not fair.

2. Am I not gay enough for Jake's?

3. Do I just have to make friends with the DJ? Cause honestly, she doesn't seem too friendly.

Anyway, it's pretty balls, and I keep telling myself that I am going to boycott Jake's karaoke and go somewhere else. Which, I do, sometimes. But, I always end up going back to Jake's to see if maybe, just maybe, they'll play my song in a timely matter, for once. And guess what? THEY NEVER DO!

Fuck that.

OLYMPIA WASHINGTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, October 26, 2007


this isn't an "oly wa!!!" post, but i'm just wondering what you girls think is better, chocolate martinis at the royale, or man troubles at the mark?


Sunday, October 21, 2007

dedicated to chocolate martini

olympia this time of year can be gloomy. the air is becoming more harsh and wintery. it's darker outside. people tend to stay in and get depressed. holidays are approaching soon which brings on its own onslaught of stress with strained family relationships and loneliness.

i feel like olympia winter depression is like an illness we need to fend off like the colds and 24 hour flus that i somehow manage to catch at least twice every year no matter how warmly i dress to go out or how quickly i drink emergen-c at the first sign of illness. i can already feel owd symptoms approaching as the air gets colder and the days get darker.


it's started with phone calls and small conversations.

everyone feels lonely. everyone feels not good enough. everyone feels ugly.

now let's get things straight.

i am a feminist.

i am a  bleeding heart liberal evergreen student in a gender studies class.

i think the real answer to this problem is that we need to expand our pitifully rigid definitions of beauty and examine the oppressive system in place which makes us always feel like we are falling short and are not enough. we need to make peace and reconcile ourselves with our bodies and see them as blessings as wonderful, as worthy of value.

we need to cut through the bullshit and give everyone the middle finger.

we need to see that clothing is fake, all scenes are fake, marketing is fake and all of this is bullshit...

...but sometimes...

it just isn't enough.


sometimes even though you will try to rationalize yourself out of a negative emotion, it will still persist in spite of any logic.
desperate times call for desperate measures.
(go ahead, click on the Christina Aguilera song, it's okay)

here is what i do, when nothing else seems to work.

when i get depressed about my physical appearance, i look at pictures of 18th and 19th century german philosophers...

for example,

here is a picture of kant

look at kant's forehead. no wait, here is another picture of kant

or how about hegel? if you are a student at evergreen you must have read some hegel.

look at him. at least we don't look like hegel right?

okay, i can tell some of you are probably wondering if maybe this is wrong. it does kind of go against that whole "expanding the definition of beauty to include everyone" idea. but here's one more,


um, hello? can you say fashion DON'T?

(olympia washington!)

-misses kisses

Thursday, October 18, 2007

last year i moved to olympia washington

and all i got was this stupid depression!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

<3 touch my balls <3


I'm in love (food appreciation post # 2)


sorry if those images are a little gratuitous, but i have seriously developed romantic feelings for the "mixed berry rhubarb tart" from wagner's bakery (located at 10th & capitol in downtown oly). the first time i tried one it was instant love. after one bite i was already trying to work it into my schedule,  "i could stop here before school or work and get one of these every day", i told myself.

i know olympia can be a cold city. if you ever get disheartened or need a break from patchy beards and hiking boots, you can't go too wrong with this. it is a bit expensive, but it's luscious, and it's worth it.

plus look at it.

no patchy beard

it's mother-fucking sexy.



I have the song "every rose has its thorn" stuck in my head and I can't get it out! Why? WHY?!


Monday, October 15, 2007

Patchy Beards

I am in the computer center at the Evergreen State 24/7 Folk Life Festival [college]. (Sorry, the folk-life festival joke NEVER gets old.) Anyway, being here in the computer center reminded me of last year when I would come in here every day and encounter patchy beard guy.

I mean, Patchy Beard Guy wasn't bad. He could've been hot. It he would just realize that patchy beards are NOT hot. Eventually, he figured it out, and shaved his patchy beard. But some "Evergreeners" are not so lucky.


This is the best I could come up with, which really isn't very good, because George Clinton's beard is somewhat filled out, and he doesn't go to Evergreen. But you get the point. Normally, a beard would be about that length and texture, but have clear holes where the hair wouldn't grow as long. Don't ask me why, cause I don't know.

All I know is that this is a crime. Beards are sexy. Patchy beards are not. If your beard could be considered "patchy", "unkempt", or "inconsistent" it is time to shave. You are permitted to start over again, but again, if it takes on one of the above attributes, or anything similar, it is time to shave again.

Summary: Beards=Sexy. Patchy and Unkempt Beards=Not Sexy.

Thank you, and


Saturday, October 13, 2007

10-12-07 Mission

So after last night's trip to QB this Friday night had a definate mission: FIND TECATE AT AN OLY BAR. This actually proved to be a bit harder than it might seem...

We started at The Voyeur.. no tecate
We moved on to King Solomon's Reef, where I was positive I'd had tecate before... but there was no tecate.

We thought about going into the 4th ave....
... but then decided that the fourth ave was lame

we moved on to the brotherhood, or broho, or as jackie oh calls it the "brother ho" where I was super positive I'd had tecate before...


finally we ended up at the royale...



...and let me tell you something amazing about the royale...

for $2

they pour your tecate into a pint glass with a salted rim and lime juice and ice to make the amazing "punk rock margarita" (as my lovely friend leah called it) that is tecate served at the royale.



Friday, October 12, 2007

Food appreciation post #1

After moving here from Seattle (washington!) we were missing the taste of heavenly crisp sweet potato fries. Thank god for QB... These were fucking spectacular.

fries, yo



In any other city at a mexican restaurant you can get a tecate... ESPECIALLY IN A MEXICAN RESTAURANT WITH A BAR! In San Francisco you can get a tecate, and for $2, nontheless. In Seattle, a certain mexican themed bar offers tecate both in cans and on tap. But, my friends...

not here in...


ps. no tecate = blasphemy

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Hiking Boots


There are plenty of foxy guys here in Olympia. This much is true. I check out these foxy dudes at the folklife festival known as the Evergreen campus every day. One even talked to me on Tuesday at lunchtime. I was flattered...until I saw his hiking boots.

I mean, I was still kind of flattered. He was attractive. He probably had a beard. He was definitely wearing cargo pants (not okay, but could be doable.) But hiking boots!

This would not be so awful. But it is. Know why? Because it is a common occurence here in Olympia, Washington. Too many dudes wear hiking boots. Wait. Correction. Too many HOT dudes wear hiking boots. And I am pretty sure that they are not going hiking every day. And, if they are, they could take the time in between hikes to change into some better, more stylin shoes.

It is just so...OLYMPIA WASHINGTON!!!!


Email the following address if you are a hot Olympia dude and need suggestions for proper footwear. We have them.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

"It's the water!"



This is what we drink here in...



The first night I went out in Olympia, Washington, something magical happened.

I took $20 out of the ATM. I got drunk. I walked home.

When I woke up in the morning there was still $5 left in my wallet.

Now that is what I call...


Olympia, Washington!

I moved to Olympia Washington a year ago.

There are plenty of cute girls and boys here. But guess what? None of them will talk to me!